When I was beginning my freshman year in college, I had been dating one guy for about 7 months. I was lonely, I didn’t really have many friends as he was abusive to me and made sure I never saw my friends or talked to them. He would always get drunk at a party (mind you I was not invited either), call me a range of names from slut to bitch, pretty much anything you could think of.
These nights would end with him blocking me when I would ignore the messages or respond in any way he saw negative, or me desperately apologizing trying to persuade him to stop talking to me in those ways. not once did I get an apology for the way he talked to me, the explanation for which was “I don’t say I’m sorry for things I know I’m going to continue to do.” not to mention he accused me of cheating on him at least 5 times a week, and when my ex-boyfriend has texted me “hey how are you”, he proceeded to slap me, slam my car door so hard my car shook and punched holes in the walls of his friend’s house.
Unfortunately, I’ve found myself in a lot of bad positions and at one point I was addicted to Xanax, and when I realized I had a problem was when I woke up in my bed with no clothes on and no recollection of what happened the night before, only that a guy I didn’t know was taking off my clothes and I was saying to stop but I passed out and only remember him leaving after that. I could write an entire book on the terrible things I’ve been through with men, but what I think is important is that no matter what has happened to you, you will be okay.
I was a very broken person, and I ended up meeting my now fiancé (who has never hurt me, fought with me, made me feel bad about myself, etc.). I have been going to therapy and am on medication for depression and anxiety. as much as I hate what I had to go through so early in life, I am appreciative of what it taught me and without what I had been through I wouldn’t have been at this point in my life. I would never have met this wonderful guy, I wouldn’t have realized I was on the wrong meds, I wouldn’t have stopped my drug usage.
Everything is a blessing in disguise, even the most traumatic experiences.