I was young, fifteen in fact. My boyfriend at the time was nineteen. Being so young I was inexperienced and naive, I believed what we had was love and that he really cared, too be fair, he did for the first part. Showering me with gifts and love. I have never felt so important. That’s when he knew he had me where he wanted me.
The beatings started first, just a slap here and there. Till one night he beat me so bad I blacked out. I was left with black eyes and bruises everywhere. My parents knew I was clumsy and I blamed it on that, I fell. That’s the lie I told, I fell. Too this day they never knew the ordeal I went through and I honestly regret it. So, back to the tale, I was beaten first. Once I got black eyes and he left marks he got clever, he beat me where no one could see, bruises and cuts hidden under my school uniform.
Then came the 14th of July, a date horribly burnt into my mind. This was the day he stole my virginity and raped me. I was round his, my parents thinking about as at a friends as per, his parents out for the evening. It started as a beating because I refused to be physical with him. To which he responded with ripping my uniform off and forcing himself inside me. I have (at this age) experience this much pain. I screamed and begged for him to stop. But he wouldn’t, I was his. Now I won’t go on with every single thing he did too me otherwise this message would be so long, even I would stop reading.
We were “together” for nine months. In which I became pregnant. And as, still a fifteen year old child I was locked in a bedroom and forced to miscarriage my own unborn child on the floor. And obviously I got a beating for messing up his carpet. Fast forward 7 years I am still battling unresolved trauma due to this, I struggle to completely trust my current partner, even with that abuser currently still serving his prison sentence I am petrified every day and too this day I regret not telling anyone, I have wanted to end it all myself and just throw myself off a bridge but I powered through alone, ignored all help dealing with the situation before and after he was sentence and if anyone actually reads this.
Please tell someone, my god I am pleading with you tell someone. Reach out, get help and end that situation you’re in before your partner ends you.