I have been a victim of many things, but there's just one story I want to share because it's the only story I haven't really told...
I was at a Halloween party, I suffer with my mental health and couldn't dress up for it and my friends convinced me to go anyway and I did! Someone at the party noticed I was a little upset and wanted to comfort me, they gave me face paints so I could at least paint my face, and a nerf gun so I could shoot it at those who weren't dressed up!
They did cheer me up, and I thought it was sincere because I didn't have much faith in my other 'friends' comforting me at the time. He offered me a drink, my first drink of the night, whisky. A few conversations later he goes into the kitchen to fetch me another that makes 2.
I can handle my drink pretty well, I'm known to drink people 'under the table'... yet fast forward a few hours and I'm conscious again. I didn't pass out, apparently I walked with friends to another friend’s house, and I carried on with the night except something was missing...
One of my friends said to me 'oh and you slept with *name*... what? I'm not that kind of person and by this point I was on 0 hours sleep and couldn't collect my thoughts.
The next day I remember being in someone's room, naked and someone behind me 'having Sex with me', I remember people walking in, I just remember bits and bobs and so I thought I'd ask people about it. Everyone said I was so wasted, I was kissing people, taking my clothes off and eventually went upstairs to have sex with *name*.
Some friends came upstairs to stop it because they know that's not right for me, that's not my behavior and they knew something was wrong, yet other friends were 'guarding the door to make sure nobody disturbed'.
I had 2 small whiskeys.
And yet because it was a friend’s house, my friends were there, I tried telling someone and they shrugged it off like well, you were pretty wasted. I COULDNT of been wasted. I promise you that. I knew I had been drugged. The minute I walked into that party looking sad, he had an opportunity. I later find out he did it to someone else, and to make things worse, he has a girlfriend and 3 children.
I was spiked, nobody would listen to my story. And nobody ever will except this post... my mental health declined for months after this, and still to this day I can't really get intimate with people because I'm so scared, it's happened before this occasion and now I'm sure it will happen again. I was going to take my own life after this because it was the straw that broke the camel’s back, and nobody would listen to me and some of my 'friends' already knew at the party and did nothing.
If you read this, I am so thankful for you even wanting to listen to my story. And yet I'm sorry because I know it doesn't have a happy ending. I appreciate you hearing my voice, and if you have your own story, I am here with you.