Day 8:
First off let's say these stories were not easy. I was 17 years old I was at a friend’s party. The friend who I've known for some time now very popular in school. He offered me a drink 2 sips that's all it took. I walked up stair to get my bag to leave and there he was grabbed me. I blacked out I woke up he was assaulting me he wouldn't stop when I said no. I tried to talk but everything felt so weird.
There was immense pain and other details that are horrid. I eventually spoke out after a year and I got help. He still won't admit it obviously. Its 5 years and I'm at a healing point where I can cope and go out in public.
I was also in a 1 - 1/2 year relationship it seemed perfect at first. Sweet guy named Eddie. He was part of the military so he had his own demons. I didn't get to see him too much but it was going well at first. Things switched he would yell and put me down every day. He would control my life and if I didn't listen He would threaten me.
He would not talk to me for days. He would want me home early and the yelling and controlling was terrible until one day he grabbed me while fighting. He pushed me. When he got drunk he would call me terrible words and names. He tried getting me pregnant. I am not. I had to pretend that I thought I was. I was scared of his reaction.
When he found out I wasn't pregnant didn't talk to me for days. That was September. December 2016 my aunt passed and he wasn't supportive he continued on about how I came home so late (11:00) the night before. We were always back and forth on and off. I was even hospitalized from my mental stability.
He still had ways to manipulate me. One day I found out not only was he abusive mentally and physically. He was a cheater. Reality hit me I was stuck. I had enough. I was scared as hell but I called him and said I can't do this. He was crying sending me messages apologizing.
The day I ended it and the day I blocked him. I finally felt free. Update it's been a little over a year and I'm finally loving myself and it takes time and its so dam hard to get out I understand. When you’re out it's amazing. I can't be happier.
I now go and speak and share my stories to show women and men that they can use their voice. To anyone out there coping and loving yourself is a process but the process will feel better and better. Stay strong no matter what you are going through. Remember your inner strength.
J. Rose