I thought I met someone that I’d live happily ever after with, have a life with. Unfortunately not. It was good in beginning he was kind funny and caring. Wasn’t long at all that he moved in. I would notice little things he would wake me up at 4 am and tell me to wash up his dish if he ate. He would walk in on me in the bath and try to touch me when I told him to get out.
I foolishly thought he couldn’t keep his hands to himself as he was so in love with me. Then the next stage was breaking things, he would destroy everything when he got mad. A laptop I got out on loan wasn’t even 2 weeks old he threw it against the wall and breaking the laptop as he said I "wasn’t listening to him".
I set the whole day building a book case he came home and threw it over in rage then made me pick it up and put the pieces back together crying. The next day I don’t even know why he was so angry but he said I made him mad and he did it again this time it had my books and art equipment and some of it was destroyed. I felt trapped. I felt I couldn’t speak or walk into another room. I had to announce when I was going to use the bathroom so he wouldn’t get annoyed that I was moving around too much.
One day my friend was over to watch a film. He called me into the bedroom and started to say I was ignoring him and I said "you told me to leave you alone as you don’t like my friends" he told me to just get out so I left. He followed me into the front room and said my name I turn around and he slapped me so hard my ear was ringing I just stood there in shock and embarrassed my friend screamed. This was the first time he hit me.
After that it was like no going back. He would come in late hours and drag me out of bed randomly by my hair. One night he came home drunk I was finishing my art work and he just started to breathe heavily and he threw me across the room and stamped on my work and threw my I.D out of the window (I live in a block of flats so it landed in the garden below) he slapped me and held me by my hair and told me to go down and get it. I put my dressing gown on and went down and knocked on the door. The lady opened it and I explained I dropped my I.D out of the window she gave me a weird look as she didn’t believe me and then got it for me.
Few days later I was on the phone he snatched it from me and literally bent it cracking the screen and threw it again out the window (the 3rd phone he broke). I again went and asked the lady for it and she asked me to come inside and said I can hear him every day shouting at you and you crying and screaming. I just broke down in tears I couldn’t take it anymore but I couldn’t break up with him had probably kill me.
Another time I just had enough and stood up to him and didn’t hide or cry I said stop it leave me alone and just get out. He got a deodorant can and just started to spray it in my eyes. I don’t know why but I wouldn’t let myself just turn around and go I just stood there. He sprayed it continuously in my eyes up my nose and every time I tried to say stop he sprayed it in my mouth. I was choking and he stood there motionless smirking and giggling. In the end I felt defeated and turn away. My eyes were blood shot for 3 days.
My friend and her partner came over one night to see me as I didn’t go out anymore. They confronted my boyfriend. He went into the kitchen got a knife and proceeded to walk over to us I grabbed the knife off him he grabbed my hair and threw me. My friend’s partner tackled him to the floor and the lady down stairs called police he was arrested as he had an outstanding warrant I found out.
He went to prison he told me it was because he was defending himself against a man. I went to the court to see if he would be coming home after few weeks in prison. I learmed then from the judge he had choked a girl.
She said he could go home
I didn’t feel happy I just felt frozen and that was the first time I realized I didn’t feel anything but fear for this person. I started to panic because I know he was coming back home. He didn’t hug me he demanded I give him money for food and cigarettes. We got on the bus home and he made me carry his bag in and he said he was going out.
The next couple days were good he was nice again. Then I was invited to my friend’s cousin’s house so I went we had a drink played board game and just had a great time. When I was walking home I just felt confident. I got in, no lights on and he was sitting there and started to shout at me about me having a drink and started to say stuff about my uncle who passed away. First time ever I stood up and got in his face and said get out. Now. He said if I didn’t move he would "knock me out" I didn’t move he got up pushed up to the floor got on top of me and started to choke me. All I could feel was pressure in my head get worst I started to gasp for air. But I didn’t say stop I didn’t beg I just stared at him. I thought he would kill me. He then suddenly let go and walked out of the room then out of the flat. I rolled over and cried so hard until I fell asleep.
He woke me up next day all lovey and happy. He was like that for a few days until I "went behind his back” to a doctor about my neck. They said I had severe bruising in my throat. I didn’t tell them it was him.
He went out that night. He left his Facebook logged in on the tablet and it kept pinging I looked and it was from a girl. He had been cheating on me with several girls the whole time.
I packed his stuff and put it outside and locked the door.
He knew I found out and didn’t come back for his stuff for few days when he did, he started to kick my door and threaten me and threaten to go to my parents and hurt them. He said he would "piss all over the door". I videoed everything. Someone called the police and the first time I just broke down and told them everything. He was on the run after 6 months they said the warrant expired.
2 days ago police came and were looking for him because he did it to someone else recently. I feel ashamed. The only reason I ended it was because of the cheating. I hated that girl but I thank her now as she saved me from staying with him. He would have killed me eventually.
A lot of stuff has been told to me since we broke up about his past with violence and knives. Why didn’t anyone tell me before? I met a quiet comic book reading film buff that loved to chill out with me.
I will never forget the lady downstairs saying she used to sit in her garden and listen because she was convinced he would kill me.