I met what I thought was the man of my dreams. He treat me like a princess and became my best friend. After a very few short months we decided to move in together.
Within a week the verbal abuse started, the controlling of what I wore, how I had my hair and if I could wear makeup. Within a month the physical abuse started. At first it was pushing and hair pulling. My friends and family had all noticed a change in me but I couldn't reach out to them.
He had made me believe he was the only person I could depend on. I fell pregnant and we got engaged and moved into a bigger place. Unfortunately the pregnancy didn’t last so the physical abuse became much worse. He would bite me, jump on me, kick me, punch me, choke me until I could barely breathe and push me in walls and down stairs. He would rape me because it didn’t matter if I didn’t want it because I had to be a good girlfriend.
I thought I had no one to turn to. I felt so alone and had lost a lot of my friends by this point and wasn’t close to my family like I was before him. I had come home one night from going food shopping etc. and he didn’t like how I was dressed he beat me for 8 hours straight he threw boiling water from the kettle over me, he smashed my head off a side board then strangled me until I collapsed on the floor and had to get rushed to hospital.
It took me a month after that night to leave him. There was so many days I wanted nothing to go back because I didn’t know how to live without him. I was so scared I would never have a purpose without him and I would never find someone who could love me because as he said I didn’t deserve to be loved.
It’s been a year and a half and I found a new man a real man and I thought I couldn’t find love but I realized I didn’t know true love until I met him. There are things he does which makes me flinch and scared. But it gets better. I am stronger than I ever was before my abusive ex. I thought I wouldn’t survive without him but the truth is I wouldn’t have survived if I stayed.
Suffering abuse is awful and possibly the worst feeling ever. It makes you feel so lonely but I promise if you get out whilst you have the chance you will realize how many people are there for you.