I have always had a messed up childhood from what I can remember.

At age 4/5 I was raped by a family friend, I was innocent, playing with my toys when he told me to go upstairs with him and he led me in the bed and took my trousers down and started kissing me and putting his tongue in my mouth then “it” happened...
I was traumatized after it finished and I remember him taking me downstairs to my mum and I just hid behind her and she didn’t even notice wheat happened.

Age 11/12
I had tried forgetting what happened before to me but the last thing I’d expected was that I’d be touched “there” again...
My dad had a business partner who lives next door to us (strange but true) and I went to visit him. He was like an uncle to me and he wanted to show me his loft conversion, the stairs were in his room so I went to the room not thinking much of it in my innocent mind I went to lay down on the bed and I was pretending to be asleep when he came back he tried to rub me with his penis and I just didn’t know what to do.

Age 18
I’d been out drinking with some friends, we’d had a pretty good night and my friend had a friend who was in the army, he was good looking strong guy, I had a boyfriend so I wasn’t looking for anything from him.
We got back to my friend’s house just the 3 of us and he didn’t want me to walk home until the next day as it was dark so I agreed to stay.

He went to his room and I stayed in the living room with his friend, I started falling asleep on one sofa and the friend was on the arm chair and suggested I sleep on the floor to get more room, thinking nothing of it I did then again I started falling asleep he came and led behind me and started touching me boobs and trying to put his hands down my trousers, I freaked out and ran home crying without telling my friend.

Age 23 (few days ago)

I was in a club, I took a Saturday off to let my hair down as having a Saturday is a rarity with my job (bouncer) so I wanted to enjoy it but this was going to go The opposite direction...
I was walking out into the corridor from the toilets in the direction of the smoking area when a guy come out of nowhere and forced his lips on to mine and instantly I had an anxiety attack when I realized what was going on, it took me a minute to register and I instantly got a flashback from when I was a child and immediately started crying. I went into the toilets again with my friend who calmed down and took me to see the head bouncer (also my friend) and I told him everything in floods of tears so he checked cctv and told me he’s get back to me so I can see what I want done about it..

Age young-18
all my life my dad would bully me and beat me up until moved out at 18.
I remember he broke my nose 5 times, chipped my teeth, punched me, kicked me and beat me black and blue to the point I wanted to kill myself. I was bullied at school so where ever I went bad things followed me and I couldn’t get them to go away!

I’ve since moved in with my partner and got help but I couldn’t have done it without him! I’d probably have killed myself long ago! So I owe my life to him.

Anonymous

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