This is the story of my second sexual assault; somehow even though I was raped the first time, and 'only' assaulted the second time; it seems to hurt more. When I was raped, there was no one to save me. But during my second assault there were people who ignored my pleas.

It started at my friend’s house, she was having a small gathering; everyone present I had gone to school with since elementary school. With the exception of her boyfriend and his friend that he brought.

One of the girls (let's call her Mandy) had made a point of teasing his friend about his attraction towards me and encouraged our interaction with each other. I wasn't interested, but I didn't want to be rude so I engaged in "how's the weather type conversation." The night went on with her pushing us onto each other and he was definitely enjoying the attention. I told him that I wasn't available and I had just went through a heart breaking split with my ex and wasn't in a place for anything at all. Fast forward to later; when everyone is drunk and passed out. He was sleeping on one side of the living room floor and I on the other.
Mandy and two other girls were squeezed on the futon.
While I was sleeping he crawled up behind me and pulled my shirt up exposing and grabbing my breast. I pushed him away and yelled at him.
Mandy wakes pissed and tells me not to be a prude and goes back to sleep.
I get up and go into my friend’s room and explain what happened to her and her boyfriend and ask to sleep on her floor. They respond with "I'm sure he knows now not to touch you." I then head to her roommates room. She and her boyfriend were sleeping. Annoyed that I've woken them, tell me to sober up and pass out.
Defeated, I returned to the living room he's facing the wall snoring.
I pull my blanket and pillow so that I'm sleeping on the very edge the carpet. The metal bracket separating the linoleum from living room floor was under my spine. Once I was sure he was sleeping, I drifted in between consciousness and sleep. The next time I woke he was spooning me, choking me with my shirt and his hand was down my pants and underwear. I was frozen. He forces his fingers inside of me. When he stopped choking me, thinking I was compliant; he goes to touch himself. I caressed his hand that was still down my pants until he pulled out of me. Then I snapped his thumb as hard as I could. Everyone woke up to his exploitive. He ran out and everyone was looking to me for an explanation. Instead at 4 in the morning I drove an hour home to an empty apartment. I didn't report it because I thought that no one would care, or that I would be charged with assault.
My friend sent me a picture of him a few days later, his nose was broken and had two black eyes. She had told a guy that I had been spending time with what happened. Before that I thought we would end up dating. He was always afraid of breaking me.
They all could have saved me. They didn't.

K. Lundberg