When I was 13 I had a crush on an older boy. Seventeen or eighteen I believe. He was the older brother of a boy I knew from school. It was about a week before I was supposed to go to Hawaii with my parents and he asked me to come to the local date park to hangout and I was obviously excited to do so. After a while he and his friends and I went back to his house to watch a movie. His friends very promptly left and he went downstairs with them to say goodbye and said to wait there in his room. His phone went off and I checked it, my hands were shaking as I saw "you better fuck her or I will”. I waited for him to come back thinking it was just a dumb joke and tried to reassure myself. The goddamn SECOND he got back into his room he pulled me onto his bed and started kissing me all over my neck, sucking really hard, like painfully hard. He twisted my breasts and asked me if I was on the pill to which I said no and he said do you want to use a condom to which I said I didn’t want to have sex. He said "condom or not, your choice but it’s happening cause I'm horny". He then forced himself on top of me and quite literally ripped my jeans off of me and forced himself inside me. Two eternally long minutes later it was over and my mum was calling me saying she was at the skate park to pick me up. I gathered all my things and ran top speed to the skate park crying the whole way. What I didn’t know until I got home and showered was that I was COVERED in dark purple almost bloody hickies. I had to tell my mother I got into a fight because I was too ashamed to come forward. I never told anybody until I was sixteen and by then he had moved away and I never heard from him again. I relive that day every so often and it still feels fresh. Fuck him and fuck abuse of any kind. So much love for all women on here

K. Downey