I broke my silence by telling a friend. I was sexually abused by my paternal grandfather from the age of 7 until age 13 (what I can remember). It was initially all a game of which I did not understand the concept, of what was happening to me, when I got older I would say no but it happened anyway until the day before my 13th birthday. I was in a car journey from my mother’s house to my fathers (1hr 30m) we had pulled over to let the dog out when he tried it, he was a smoker so I grabbed a lighter and threatened his life. Before this time I'd only said no never really stood up for myself properly and that was it, it stopped. I still had to see him many times but he never tried anything, would just be nice to me which made me feel sick. I did nothing for years I was too ashamed, too scared not only that people wouldn't believe me but of letting the cat out of the bag after suppressing the memories, thinking that I did something to provoke it, that something was wrong with me. Eventually I did it and I went to the police I told them everything that had happened, 2 crown court cases down the line and he was sentenced to 52 years imprisonment (serving 10 no bail due to age). I now know that I have nothing to be ashamed of, I should never have been scared and that I did nothing, I was a victim of a horrific crime that only a sick minded person could commit. Yes I will live with what happened to me for the rest of my life, but it does not define who I am and it will not dictate what I am in the future. To anyone who has suffered, is still suffering or is yet to suffer, you are strong, you are beautiful, and you are worthy. You define who you are!

Anonymous

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