I was 15 years old. My boyfriend at the time was a couple years older. It was Valentine’s Day and my first valentines I had spent with anyone. We had Chinese and I stayed at his the night. We were cuddled up in bed when he started making sexual advances, I wasn’t too sure, I was 15 and he was 17 and he was my boyfriend after all so I let him get on top of me, even though it’s not really what I wanted, but I was his girlfriend so he was allowed.
A week later he broke the relationship off with me. I hadn’t realized what he had done.
10 weeks later I found out I was now pregnant, with his child.
I went to the gynecologist and spoke about an abortion, but I couldn’t do it. It wasn’t just his child, but mine too and I knew that. It broke my heart to think about keeping his child but it was mine!
People at school had begun to find out because I was keeping the baby, only instead of being nice, everyone started calling me a “liar”. Saying I was saying I was pregnant to “get him back”. This went on for weeks and at 21 weeks pregnant, I miscarried, and it was so painful.
Many years on I can talk about it now, I know what he did was rape, but the abuse didn’t stop there, because people believed that he couldn’t do such a thing and that I surely couldn’t be pregnant. To this day people still disbelieve me, and so to this day, he is winning, and I remain abused. Swept up with the notion that I must be the liar.
I am not a victim. I am strong. I am brave and I know the truth. I am at peace with what happened because I know it is now a part of me; and because of it I am better.