I was 15 when I met the first love of my life. Overwhelmed that someone actually fancied me first , I jumped straight into a relationship - smart but too naive. I fell in love with the way he looked at me, always put me first, how he introduced me to the family and how he introduced himself to mine. The perfect gentleman. He would take me out on dates, respected that I wanted to wait, someone who truly cared. It all went downhill after my 16th birthday, I had a party the day before where he hit me for the first time. I was confused and assumed it was drink induced as he was so drunk. He spoiled me rotten once my tears had stopped and couldn’t say sorry enough. After this day, he slowly started isolating me from “bad” friends , as I was “too pretty, too smart and too good for people like that”. He and my best friend at the time were also really close, sometimes too much but was always reassured with “she could never match you gorgeous”. We were each other’s firsts, in every aspect, I really felt he loved me. After a while threats started, between me and a male friend, me and my best friend and then me and my family. After a while, I wasn’t doing anything right. I wore too much make up to work, I spent too much time studying, I didn’t FaceTime enough, I wanted to see friends too often, I didn’t want to have sex every day, everything was getting “boring” unless it went his way. This gradually decreased until my prom , I was warned not to be in any photos with a friend I fancied in 1st year, unfortunately I was in a photo with this person (a group photo) opposite ends and he sent me the photo 60+ times, calling me a bitch, a whore and a fat whale. After this, I left school to satisfy him by getting into a HND pathways course to university to study pharmacology. It only got worse. I had no friends, and only my family left but he wanted me all to himself. I stood by him through his kidney transplant , waiting 13+ hours every day for him to get checked: it wasn’t ever enough. Soon the novelty of me being there at his beck and call wasn’t enough. Fast forward to Valentine’s Day 2016, he had slept with another girl, dumped me and proceeded to rub it in my face every day for 9 days, until he suddenly leaked photos and videos of me in sexual nature (I had no idea existed) and proceeded to physically assault me in the street. This was taken to court where he was found guilty. I was unhappy, isolated and miserable for 2 years of my life, chasing something that never wanted to be found. I hope this story inspires young people to realise that you aren’t insane , you aren’t attention seeking and that you absolutely do deserve better than what your getting.
Anonymous