Let start by saying my family, for many generations, has suffered from abuse and trafficking. My great, great grandma was trafficked and sold 7 times her last owner was my great, great grandfather. He was not a good man. It has trickled down through family and today I end this circle.
I was born to a woman who suffered from bipolar, manic depression, and schizophrenia. 1st and only child she was able to conceive, 1st grandchild, born out of wedlock with a man that was just looking for a good time. My mom was not all put together. As I grew up, I was taken to any place that would let us crash or would keep me so my mom could party. At either 6 months or 18 months she dropped me off at a babysitter for weekend camping. 2 weeks later she returned and the lady had taken me to cps. This continued on and on yet this was the only woman who reported her. At 2, was first memories of abuse? An older teen girl was watching me in her room and decided I would learn about 'proper cleaning rituals'. Not to long after that I became mom’s bf, tony eagle, personal play toy. Woke up to my mom sleeping next to me, on a mattress, drunk. I woke because her bf was removing my clothes. I remember screaming and crying and mom just rolled over huffing and covering her head with a pillow. I was 3 when this happened. Later I was left at a woman’s house names ray parker. She abused us kids to no end to this day I can’t play Metallica without losing it. She best us so bad one night, threw me down stairs picked me up by hair and dragged me back to the bedroom where she broke wooden paddle over me and 2 other little ones. It broke on me so she punched me and when I slumped on floor she kicked me. For some reason, my mom showed up and seen what was going on. She put my boots on and I remember having problems breathing. She set me in back of car and low and behold there is tony in front seat. I blacked out. I awoke to being on a woman’s couch. It was ugly yellow with floral print. I remember not being able to breath and something laying on top of me. When I finally come to, I see a tripod camera and tony was on top of me. I was in living room and the woman who owned house was in kitchen and rented out all the rooms. She didn’t care. Shortly after I stayed at a new friend’s house, where I learned how a real mom acted and loved, only to find out the man she was with, was a monster. Just this last year I came out with some more of the abuse to more of friends and family. She messaged me and always wondered why I would walk the outside of the room and sit at her feet when he was near. His name I will finally reveal and put whole name out there. His name is terry Osborne, wanted in multiple states and on FBI most wanted list. When finally taken to doctor "too much time and there was no real evidence" and "I probably seen it on TV". Tony eagle was later charged with molesting his infant daughter. They didn’t catch on till she was almost 2. And Terry has abused tons of kids, his own niece on her 12th birthday. This happened in my high school years and he had abused me when I was just 3. This all in good ole Wooster, Ohio. My mom later met a man after getting hurt and discharged out of army boot camp. His name was gene zweidinger. Here he was a convicted abuser and molested both his girls. During this time I was staying with grandma who was fighting cancer and losing. She was an angel, the mother I always wanted and prayed to have. She was too ill and sent me to live states away with uncle. My mom and new husband portrayed a stable residence for once so my aunt and uncle released me to their care. We then started back on the road with camper in tow now traveling from city to city state to state, living off churches and donations. Once they had exhausted all resources, we would move to next community. We were living in hard times and gene had made friends from other areas while in prison. They happened to be convicted pedos too. I remember one house with a man named Stan who lived on the Ohio Mississippi River in Indiana or Illinois, near old washed out button factory nearby. He had lots of goods and chickens and his place sat on a little island that would flood out bridge when water rose. Well one night he got 2 kittens and no one was around, I really loved animals. They didn’t hurt me like others and was the one thing that showed normal affection towards me. We were sitting on floor and I remember wood burning stove and it getting very dark. His hand fell to my leg and then I learned about the secret latch covered by rug in the floor. We left soon after this but those images rest in my head and haunt my dreams. I am still locked out those memories. I later was dropped at my father’s door who I knew nothing about. At this point I was warped believing that the rapture was upon us. My mom and new husband believed Christ was coming and I was to watch videos of satanic rituals and killing with hot oil, beheading, mark of beast, you name it I knew about it. I just turned 8 yrs. old. My dad was very abusive and never in a good mood. The abuse was extreme where pieces of lathe was pulled off walls and you were beat. Watching your sister upset because she couldn’t go with mom to store so she wouldn’t stop crying. Dad held her by her neck feet dangling by her throat, she was 5 at the very oldest. My little older brother picked up a hammer dad was working on house with and threw it at his foot. Dad dropped her and rushed to grab ty. He got out the house and half through back yard when dad caught him and carried him in by the back of his head. I later at 14 came out to friends about how bad abuse was getting and she finally spilled the beans. My aunt took custody and she was very poor. I started dancing at a strip club in canton, Ohio when I was maybe 15, took in ID looked nothing like me, said I was 28. The girl who brought me heard about a lot of abuse. I had experienced and how poor I was and told me I could make a buck. I see all that money and was scared because my aunt was diabetic with 2 kids working at subway. She had cataract surgery and they fired her. We had no money and she couldn’t even apply for temporary disability. I watched guys come and go for days while I sent others away while she was 'conversing' in bedroom. I took care of her two girls and would have to chase the abusive drunks off. I was afraid I was going to be made to return to my dad’s. I told my aunt I was babysitting for the night and went with a dancer named barb. She was like 25-26 and had 2 kids of her own. I was curious and she said I could see for myself. We got off and exit on 111 NW Whipple Ave in canton. There was a gas station marathon/Marjorie’s. Went in asked for closest club, guy said around the corner literally. She told me at that moment I was dancing. I said no, she said you need money and you don’t want to go back to the abuse, you will do it. Got there and I thought her sisters id looks nothing like me. Jeff the manager didn’t care and served up a ton of drinks real quick. She told him I had never danced and he knew, smiled real sly like. I worked for 3 months and then we moved from Orrville to Wooster again. I stopped dancing when we moved but one day she showed up saying she wanted me to become a Budweiser girl with her. I told him I couldn’t. I was drunk every day I went in. Being what I still considered a virgin and being in front of men like that made me uncomfortable but the money! One guy specifically would sit at bar at night and he was the only one besides barb that knew for sure I was unde4age. He offered to take my virginity for the price of $10, 000 dollars. He was sincere with offer at first but he scared me so bad. That’s about when I said no more, especially when waking up at 7 pm thinking it was 7 am and getting ready to rush into school. I was sleeping class. Later came to find out about a month after the club there was busted for underage girls. I dropped out of high school shortly after. Being a teen isn’t simple either. I have been raped my best friends cousins who were pride and joy of family, raped by men who were friends in the park in broad daylight while people played basketball so many feet away. I later got involved with a man who was abusive and took what he wanted when he wanted it. I finally have ended the cycle of abuse with my son’s birth. Changed my life went back to school. Now I help others going down that path and help them seek justice, I was never given. I suffer from extreme PTSD. Things are locked away and sometimes they break free from a simple smell, sound, and object. I can’t sleep at night and anxiety is the worse. I fight every day to keep it at bay. My children will never know those people or that part of my past. For what I have been through, people don’t understand how I can be so hopeful or help so many. I have to because if I stop, the healing stops. I should write a book but who wants to hear about that. There is so much and this isn’t even a smidge. I feel guilty that I can’t do more for others but I am teaching others the tools to make a difference in communities. Now I say to you.... be a beacon, a light for others to follow when they are lost. Help them find their path so they too can become a beacon to help many others. Don’t stop and always remember this too shall pass.