I am currently 21 years old, this started when I turned 19 years old.
I was recently out of a lengthy relationship, and for the first time ever, I felt free. After being through 1 abusive relationship and mentally draining ones, I wasn't looking for one. Then I met my ex, we'll call him D for short. We both worked at the same place that I recently just started.

When I turned 19, we both got our first tattoos together. All seemed well, I sort of liked him but he definitely liked me. After a month of little dates, we decided to make it official. He seemed great, until this one day where he started to freak out on me, as I was having a panic attack. I had a feeling it was a red flag, but I decided to not look into it.

I was wrong.

His "panic attacks" were more like verbal abuse he bottled up inside. I was constantly told how much I made him feel bad, how horrible I was etc. One day, in my parents’ house, he decided to slam me onto the floor and put a hole in the wall. I had a black eye and swollen temple. No one noticed because I told them I tripped. We were moving in together and for some reason I didn't want for it to mess up.

Moving in was the worst decision I have done. He slammed me onto the floor countless of times, he broke so much in the apartment, he punched me in many places, choked me out while saying he wanted to kill me and whatnot. The amount of suicide attempts was relentless, but if he ever caught me he would try to finish me off then and there. He didn't have a license didn't work as much as I did nothing. I had 2 jobs while also taking care of our dog. After almost 2 years I cheated on him with my best friend who lived elsewhere, and he helped me out of that relationship. It was ugly.

He threatened my dog's life as well as mine. He walked to where I worked and left a note saying he was "sorry". He was never sorry, we had a talk countless of times, so many chances blown. Then came a day where he walked 20 miles from his house to mine. If my brother didn't see him on the way, he would have taken my dog without me knowing. I was afraid. I'm still afraid to be living here. He texted about "seeing his dog" but I blocked him and got him on police records. It's only been 2 months since I left him but it's been unbearable. Unfortunately this wasn't the only abuse I dealt with, but currently the only one that is refusing me to live in peace.

Please no one make the same mistakes as mine, very sorry it is vague. I am currently living with scars, some brain damage, debt etc. because of him.