I have a few stories that I could tell, that I've never told anyone beside one friend. No one in my family knows what has happen to me, but this one I would be okay with them knowing. It's a more recent one, see I was seeing this guy for four months. We work together, and when I first saw him I thought he was an ex. I didn't talk to this guy for a few weeks, and he gave me his number the first day for work. Well I started to get a crush on this guy.

So I sent him a text asking him about his art, and that's how it started. I made the first move, text to kiss to bed. Literally within the first week, and then our friendship grew. It was so great, like I was so happy. Then he wanted to do anal, he asked me two times that I ever recall for permission to do so. After that I recall telling him I didn't want to. He never listened to me, and after that the sex wasn't even asked for. I would ask him if he wanted to, I got my yes or no. Vice versa...After that no. He would just wake me up next to bed with him asking me to pull my pants down.

That's all he'll ever ask, I told him no. Or I got rude about it. I even several times pulled my pants up trying to get him to stop. When it wasn't his way he would force me on all fours and have his way. Or force me on top. This guy is way bigger and stronger than me, then after the first two months I stopped eating I stopped gaining weight and I didn't know why. That I was so easy to pick up and push around anyway he wanted. When I was on top and he would guide me because I never had the energy anymore.

That I would have to start crying for him to stop, he would hold me close and calm me down. But that was the only way he would stop. On all fours he never got the hint when I tried to pull away or when I laid on my back. He would pull me closer again or he would do it when I'm on my back. I've tried saying no, but my voice was taken either as teasing or it was to quiet. This guy didn't get the hint when I told him I didn't want to give him a blowjob, but he would force me on my knees or force me to his crotch. And keep my head down. This guy didn't get it.... After the four months, I didn't realize he sexually assaulted me...We were friends with benefits, that if I tried to say anything at all it would have been ignored.

I more likely won't say anything because if I did his family would protect him, that it's their words against mine. And I probably won’t...Cause my voice has never been heard. And more likely it won't be heard. But I just wish he knew what he did was wrong, I didn't want to have sex with him anymore. I didn't want to hangout anymore because I was scared of him, because that's all he'll ever want from me. I would go over still cause I cared...But the risk was greater than me caring too much...

I just hope if anyone has ever had a friends with benefits and had it go south, know that just cause you gave consent doesn't mean that he/she should never stop asking if you can have sex. Just cause you agree doesn't mean you should stop asking.