About 6 months into my sophomore year of high school my study hall class got switched and I didn't really know anybody. I wasn't one of the popular kids, but I wasn't a kid that got picked on. I was pretty much invisible. Until I got a message on Facebook from the "bad boy" at school that was a junior asking me to hang out? I denied him and denied him but eventually I gave in and we started seeing each other.

Two months later I had to move about 1,000 miles away from him to Colorado and as my going away present he called me a slut because I had "hooked up" with other guys before but not him and said I had to sleep with him before I moved. After I moved and started at my new school he started accusing me of cheating every day. Eventually I stopped hanging out with anybody outside of school and only had about 4 friends that he was okay with me talking to. After graduating I made the mistake of moving in with him at his parents’ house. I had just turned 17.

Things started off okay until I got a job and he started taking my school money and paychecks to buy "fake bake" and food for him and his friends. About a year into living with his parents he let me know that he had cheated on me the whole time I lived in Co and said it was because he was hooked on meth. After that things took a huge turn for the worse. I wasn't allowed to see friends and seeing my family was always such a hassle and started fights so eventually I stopped seeing them too. He got angry with me one day and hit me in the nose so hard that it's been 4 years and I still don't have a sense of smell. After we finally got our own place with a roommate he would disappear for days at a time to go get high and only come home to steal my belongings and pawn them or steal my cash so he could buy more dope.

He would eventually come home and tell me he was "changed" and would do better. He had finally gotten a job however, he wouldn't help with bills. I kept thinking he would change maybe I was "just a crazy bitch with control issues." Until Halloween he fed me vodka shots until I couldn't walk and took me into the bathroom of his aunt’s house and forced me to perform oral sex on him. Since I was so drunk I couldn't breathe and bit him and he smacked me and screamed what the fuck Haylie then proceeded to rape me as punishment. When I was sober again he convinced me I couldn't be raped by him since he was my boyfriend and the raping continued daily for 3 months after until he lost his job due to failing a drug test and spent his entire last paycheck to buy marijuana and I called him while I was at work and told him to get out of my house.

I called the cops to make sure he was gone.
However he showed up at my house every day to check and see if I had any men at my house. Finally I decided to move back home to Colorado but the harassment didn't stop. He sent me photos of my house that he had never been to and said he was going to buy a bus ticket and move up there so I had to take him back. He would blow my phone up to the point I couldn't even use it because it would crash from too many calls and texts. I finally got a new phone number and a new boyfriend that has protected me from my ex that still to this day, 2 years after breaking it off, still harasses me and says our breakup was due to me not being good enough.

But through my amazing support system I know that I AM enough. I am strong. And his permanent scars on the inside and outside from 4 years of physical and emotional abuse do not define me.