This time last year I woke up to find over 50 messages from grown men I had never met before saying how great I looked in the photos... what photos? I then started receiving screenshots of the pictures. There were naked photos of me that I had sent at the age of 14 after being groomed by a grown man online.

I was on 4 different porn sites with the caption “(my full name and where I’m from) young slut etc. etc.” the photos were seen by hundreds of thousands of people and hundreds of people continued to message me threatening to send the photos to my work/university/family and friends. I felt as though I had been sexually abused by every single one of these men, I wanted to bleach every part of me. How could someone do this to me?

My life completely and utterly fell apart around me, I didn’t sleep or eat. I physically couldn’t, I wanted to die. This was going to ruin my life. I was in a relationship of 3 years, I was honest with my boyfriend from the start and he was very supportive. He was sent the photos and messages also. I gathered every message and screenshot and took it to the police. They asked me over and over again, “do you know who it was? Are you sure” VICTIM BLAMING. I was 21 when they were put online and 14 when I sent them, of course I couldn’t remember his name. I was a suicidal 21 year old who’s life had been turned upside down and I was made to feel like a SLUT.

Instead of doing anything for me the police documented in my records that I had committed an offence by sending the photos. At 14 years old. I was made to feel as though I had done this to myself. My mother is a detective and even her and her colleagues couldn’t do anything about this as they were on American sites and we are in the UK so the laws are different. Long story short my fight is not over, they are still online and always will be, I’ve had to change my name on social media and disclose what has happened to work and university and hope to God that nothing else’s comes from this.

Luckily I had good family support and a life ahead of me or my story could have been a lot worse. I basically wanted to share my story because I believe that no one should be made to feel like this is their fault, it is not your fault that this happened to you, or that you trusted them. You did NOT consent and it is never okay to be blamed when you are the victim.

Thank you for letting me write this, I’ve never spoken about it since and feel like it’s not spoken about enough.