I am a 43 year old woman now but my story starts very young.
I grew up in a small town very sheltered and I guess what you would call naive. My first serious boyfriend had a drug problem. He actually tried to sell my virginity for his drug money he owed. It was to a native gang of men. I was to be gang raped as my first time ever having sex. My boyfriend asked me to come out that night. My mom wouldn’t let me. I found out a few days later what he had done.
My second incident happened one night after a party. I had a guy friend who I had known since I was in kindergarten. We were 16 and I was still a virgin. He asked me if I needed a ride home from a party. I was quite happy to take the ride so I didn’t have to call my parents. I remember I was wearing a cute white summer dress, the car window was down and the warm summer wind was blowing in. I felt so free and young and happy. That ended when he pulled down this side road. I wasn’t sure where we were but it was all bush around us. He started trying to kiss me and I was like sorry I don’t have those feelings for you. He said we are going to have sex and tried to put his hands in my underwear. I told him quickly I had my period and couldn’t. Phew thought I had h8m there. Nope he said you can either have sex on your period or give me a blow job. I finally told him I have never done either before. I thought this guy has known me most my life he couldn’t be doing this. He told me as he pulled out his dick to suck it or get out of the car. I was crying saying I don’t even know where we are. He said that’s the choice you’re going to have to make. I cried through the whole act. I would never at least give him my virginity. It still hurts my heart to think if that poor scared girl.
The next was my second serious boyfriend. We have had sex by now. I was a whole 17. But hey I was in love. So he is having a party at his house and all his friends are there. He was a few years older than me and lived on his own. I went to the bathroom and as I’m peeing a knock at the bathroom door. I call out its taken will be a minute. My boyfriend says it’s just me open up laughing. Smiling I lean over and open up the door and finish peeing. He is smiling as I go to pull my pants up he says no don’t let’s do it. I’m like no everyone is just in the living room. He picks me up turns me around and enters me from behind. I remember my face being pushed into the faucet. It hurt so bad I was silently crying. I didn’t want this older boyfriend seeing me cry. He finishes with a little slap on my ass and leaves. I’m shaking as I look down and blood is running down my thighs. I went to his room and had a shower in his bathroom and silently slipped out and went home. I broke up with him the next day. I was so horribly embarrassed, completely humiliated.
About 6 months later my best friend is dating this guy. We are at his place and they go into his room. I’m sitting watching TV and waiting for her. When one of his friends shows up. God he was so good looking. I smile and we have some small talk. He appears very drunk but at least trying to keep me company. Then he kisses me. My heart was pounding so hard. In a teenage war of what has just happened with my boyfriend and this good-looking guy kissing me. Before I knew it he was on top of me. I’m in a skirt so he in my underwear fast. I can feel his penis pressed right against me but he’s so drunk that it’s not fully hard. This is what saved me. Not this time dude. I fought with everything I had. I screamed, scratched, kicked until my friend came out. We left right away. He did apologize after saying he was just so drunk.
I didn’t go out for a long time after. I settled into a marriage young and had kids young. I have a lot of stories of random ass grabs, boobs motor boating, and my marriage ended in my husband being an addict. Which is as strange as neither of us ever was in that life style.
My last two incidents involve doctors.
When I was pregnant with my first I went to a walk in clinic to make sure I was for sure. The doctor asked if he could examine me. I was like sure, he said something along the lines that my cervix would be a grey color Ian’s close if I was. So as I lay there he does his physical exam. At first it all felt routine. Then he started massaging my breast as he had his finger inside my vagina. I shot up and said what you are doing. He had some lame excuse that my breasts should feel a certain way when I am pregnant. I never went back but did talk to my family doctor.
The second was a psychologist I was sent to see after I was robbed at knife point at work. My work requested before I go back to at least have a couple sessions. The place they sent me to could only do nights at his office in another town
I went to see this doctor and as we are talking he says let’s do a little exercise. He says close your eyes. So I close them. He says good now take a deep breath and visualize what happened that day. I’m slowly breathing and he says that’s it slow deep breaths all the way to your nipples. I stopped and opened my eyes and looked at him. He was staring at my breasts. He makes eye contact with me and says it again. Looking at me I guess maybe to see my reaction. I looked at him grabbed my purse and left. I don’t know what he got from that but I reported him the next day.
Now being an adult I often wonder why I was chosen, what it was about me. I know from friends I was told I’m a quiet sweet person. I know my marriage made me a mouse of a person. But if only I could go back and stop these people from hurting a naive girl. I’m such a strong moral woman who has daughters I would die for. I have taught them to be strong individuals. To always stand up for themselves. This is the first time I have told my story. I don’t even think my now husband knows. But for those who do read this. I am now married to absolute wonderful man who adores me and treats me like gold. He like my softness and kindness and doesn’t take it for granted.
Anonymous