I was in my sophomore year of high school and I thought I had met my soulmate. He was handsome, charming, smart, funny, and charismatic. We were together for about 6 months when the abuse started. He started by making small comments here and there about my appearance and weight, how I never looked good enough, I was putting on weight, etc.
I was very self-conscious and lost a ton of weight because I believed everything he said. The verbal abuse was getting worse, and so was the manipulation. He manipulated me into thinking I was just a bother for my friends and family, and no one truly loved me except for him. He slowly pushed me away from everyone close to me. He constantly told me that if I ever left him, no one would want me because I was too ugly. I was so afraid to leave him.
The abuse escalated when we had been together for over a year, and it was his birthday. He was angry because I didn’t want to do anything sexual with him, so he forced himself on top of me and raped me. I cried and told him I don’t want this, I never consented and he ignored me until he finished. That night, I went home and cried but I was so afraid, I never told anyone. After that night, I realized what he was doing to me and I tried to leave him. Every time I tried, he would threaten to send around the private pictures I had sent him, and he would threaten to commit suicide.
I was so afraid.
After two years together, I finally gathered the courage to leave him. And every day afterwards, I was so afraid of him. He stalked me. He would call and text me 30 times a day, he would show up to my house unannounced, show up to my classes unannounced, for months. I blocked his number and I blocked him on social media but he always found ways to get a hold of me. After a few months he finally stopped.
I didn’t tell anyone about the abuse or rape for years. I finally told my best friend this year and she helped me get the proper help that I needed.
It gets better. There is always something better waiting for us.