When I was 16 I met a boy. We both lost our virginities to each other and had a super close bond. I am now 20 and finally am escaping the abuse. It was fine in the beginning, then things changed. We kept taking breaks and he would have other relations with so many girls that I was unaware of. Eventually he cheated. It crushed me. I felt broken. I left for a while then ended being pulled back in by the lies and sweet talk.
It started being where he would spit on me and say I disgust him, call me a slut all the time yet he was the promiscuous one. It was like after lie. In 2015 I was moved to a new school I didn’t like and was cyber schooled and working full time. I revolved everything around him though he didn’t do the same. I attempted to kill myself. I didn’t want to deal with feeling so unworthy. The name calling was ridiculous, he once called me fat and I said “where” and he grabbed my stomach and said “what is this then”. I’m only 124 pounds.
The way he used to make me cry until I was vomiting is unbelievable. It’s so hard to let go and I’m ashamed on how many times I let him back in. But I’ve realized I have nothing to be ashamed about. It wasn’t my fault and that’s the biggest thing to recognize. You can’t change people. You can’t let them control your life. It takes strength and sometimes help from other to walk away, but we all have the power to do it.