Back in 2016, I had moved with my dad to Texas. I hated it with my mom and her boyfriend, I felt I had to get away. I and my dad have always been close, he was always my rock. So I had moved with him and at the time we didn't have our own place we stayed with my Tia for a solid 3 months. She has 3 kids and she’s a stay at home mom.

So it was around the time my dad and I made the decision to buy our house and I told him I was okay with his girlfriend living with us. But it was at least our last 2nd week at my Tia's when we all decided to party. I had a boyfriend and the time and I had just drove him home and came back to enjoy family time. So my dad, his sister, and like all the adults drank a lot.

My cousins and I went to sleep around 1am, I had fallen asleep on the phone with my boyfriend. Around 3am my dad came to bed because we shared a bed since we shared that house. Around 4am, I woke up to my dad touching me all over and dry humping me. I had pushed him off and went back to sleep not really thinking anything of it, I was 12 at the time. So around 30 minutes later I woke up to him basically forcing himself inside of me and he was fully awake by this point in time.

I tried forcing him off but he wouldn't budge. I was a 4'9 girl and weighed 98 pounds at the time. He's 5'8 and weighs in at about 203lbs. Soon after this we moved into our house, I had my own room and I started self-harming myself. I started school again because I had been kicked out for the amount of days I missed. I started doing poorly in school; skipping, telling teachers off, etc. I would get picked up by my dad every day and just get yelled at constantly; you aren't shit, you wouldn't treat your father like this, just kill yourself, no one gives a fuck about you. Are few of the things I was told.

I then starting formatting suicide notes, making them perfect, specifying what I wanted. I tied a rope in my closet and planned to do it that night when I got back from school. I got picked up early by my dad, he started yelling at me and asking me why I was doing what I was doing, then he told me to lift of my sleeves. I showed him and he then hit my arms and kicked in out of our car. I walked 6 hours to get home. I was yelled at and kicked out again.

His girlfriend and him had completely emptied my room of my belongings and threw them all out and specifically said "Nobody wants a depressed piece of shit in their presence" I left, they looked for me. Put up missing person signs all over, told everyone I ran away from my responsibilities. I was living with my Tia through all of this and they knew where I was and who was caring for me.

I moved back to where I am currently in June of 2016. In 2017 l, my dad’s now ex-girlfriend called my mom and I and told us my dad had raped her daughter while intoxicated and I finally came out to my mom about what he had done to me. She cried a lot. My mom and I are closer than ever and I no longer make no contact with my dad unless it's for child support.

THINGS GET BETTER GUYS I PROMISE. It all gets better, I live on with it and I do hate it but I realize a lot of people go through it. And out of many I'm one that lived and is making it for herself. I'm still depressed and I have severe anxiety. Living life from day to day is hard. But it all gets better. I promise. Xoxo, a victim