Coming from a broken home and growing up in the system. I was an easy target. He had promised me a life of leisure. Shown me all his trust fund paperwork. Taken me out to fancy meals and shows. He said I was his angel. I was going to save him and all his ex’s and baby mamas were liars and thieves and just spent their time making his life hell.

Almost immediately after we moved in together his agressions started. He was never happy with my hair. He was never happy with my clothes. He ordered my clothing from his catalogs and I was not allowed to buy my own clothing. He was even concerned with my underwear. God forbid someone see a sliver of a thong, he couldn’t bare it so he purchased granny panties for me.

Eventually it turned physical. He poured alcohol on me and called me names. He would choke me and hold me down all the time saying, I had made him do it. When I became pregnant it became much worse. He would choke me unconscious. I called the police many times and I was never given help. I was told I would go to jail for being a participant in him hitting me. I had no family to help and he knew it. Being pregnant I couldn’t find a job and it seemed like the only thing I could do was put up with him to survive.

So I learned to keep my head down and keep quiet and do as he asked. This went on and off for 2 years until after a Church we had joined urged us to get married for “God” to fix our relationship. The situation became even more violent. I refused to sleep with him for his relationship with an underage girl. He forced himself on me and hand cuffed me and shoved me in a closet after choking me and making me kiss my son “good bye”. When I woke up I tore my hand out of the cuffs and ran to a neighbor’s house my son was missing. When the police arrived it was the same story.

I demanded an ambulance and told my story and to find my son they had simply told me if it’s his son he has a right to the child. I was taken to the hospital and x rayed. I had a broken wrist but superficial injuries. The police said they would return to take my statement and they never did. When I was released from the hospital my church informed me they had my son and he was well, and my ex was in Alaska he was afraid of the charges I would press on him. I found out I was pregnant and at every turn the church was watching me and monitoring my moves to report to my husband.

I knew I had to get away before he killed me or my son. I found an adoption add on the internet and found an adoptive family for my unborn child and let them know I was on the run. They handled all the legal situations and I found a room to rent in a different city and my son and I started a new life. I wish I had seen that years of abuses on women was not just “crazy ex’s” it was a huge red flag he was a dangerous human. I now today have a business and a beautiful family and am best friends with my other child’s parents and everything worked out great. It’s hard to make it out but it’s absolutely a life and death matter and it does get better.

H. Nelson