So I will start from the beginning, I had depression from a young age, I found company from men satisfying as I never got any love from my mother ( my dad and mum had broken up and I hardly saw him), I was pretty much alone in the world and had no friends, I had depression for when I was 8 years old until I was 16, at the age of 12 I started sending nudes to boys to feel pretty and loved, obviously this was stupid and I do regret it but loneliness makes you do silly things. They got shared round and posted on the internet but I was numb inside anyways so I carried on, taking inappropriate pictures of myself to get attention from guys, I didn’t do it all the time, but just enough to fill a hole. At the age of 14 I got with someone, let’s give them the name of Simon. He was my first relationship, I was depressed, needed love, I self-harmed, and had nobody but him, I lost my virginity to him and everything was sweet and nice, until one day we was having sex and I asked him to stop and he didn’t stop and I just laid there, numb like I had just died inside. I didn’t think anything of it, it was around two months later until I actually realized what had happened, and that this person I loved actually raped me. I got in contact with the police and they came to my school etc. I had to tell my mum all this, this was horrifying to me, and she wasn’t loving or nice. All she turned around a said was, are you happy you’ve lost your virginity at the age of 14 and told me school I was lying. All this got out on Facebook and this Simon was writing about it calling me a liar etc. I was getting verbally attacked left right Centre. At this point I really did hate myself and wanted to die, I got with someone a couple months after this as I needed affection, this person wanted sex and I clearly didn’t but I did it anyways so they wouldn’t leave me even though I started crying whilst we was doing it. The person broke up with me because of this. I had lost all connections in my life and had nobody. I started to self-harm really bad and would have melt downs at school and cry almost every day, I’d skip school all the time, until one day my dad’s girlfriend saw how bad I was when she met me and saved me, I moved in with them. I was safe, but still not very mentally well, my self-harm got so bad that I was cutting over cuts and had to wear bandages every day for ages and got put on anti-depressants and was speaking to someone, this all helped so much, was a step forward because I wasn’t alone anymore. I finally get into a healthy mental state, after two years, I got with someone else and I found out I had an sti, from the people previously, and the new person I was with made me feel so disgusted about having this sti, I got rid of it but I was young and had unprotected sex, getting an sti happens but he made me feel vulgar and he broke up with me and told everyone like my life was everyone’s life. I got over it, I’m a strong person and now two years later I am in a strong healthy relationship, doing great in school, have amazing friends and family and am so content with life. So I just want people to know that life does indeed get better!