At the end of my last relationship I’d only just turned 18, and we both knew I wasn’t happy in the relationship. I didn’t realize till I was finally free how emotionally abusive he was before he became worse, it started with him alienating me from my friends and even family. Then as I started threatening to leave him as an old friend reached out to me he started acting strange. He started forcing me to drink with him even if I was tired, little did I know this was his plan to mess up my birth control pill.

He would tell me that I’d taken it and I’d just forgotten. A few weeks later we went to Liverpool to celebrate his birthday. After the night out was over I was upset with him after he’d called me a prostitute to people in the bar and wanted to walk back to the hotel by myself. He grabbed my arm and dragged me their telling me I was too drunk to know the way even though I was directing him. Once we got in the hotel that’s when I tried to go for a shower and calm down, he dragged me out of the shower and threw me across the room screaming at me. I didn’t know what to do I just froze and that when he did it.

A few weeks later I did a pregnancy test and it came back positive. My parents really wanted me to keep the baby as they didn’t believe in abortion and I was going to keep the baby but I was going to leave him for Good as an old friend of both of ours had told her that he was going to get me pregnant so I couldn’t leave him. With my family now back in my life and me braking up with him he started threatening to take me to court for sole custody.

See the thing is he works at a clerk’s office with loads of lawyer friends. I had history of self-harm and substance abuse I knew I wouldn’t win if it went to court and I felt like it wasn’t about the baby it was having control on me and he was expecting me to get back with him. I aborted the baby and lost my family in the process.

I’m happy now with my new boyfriend and he’s even helped me get into unit I still think of the baby I aborted as my little guarding angel who got me out of being emotionally physically and sexually abused.