My story begins at a party where I was drinking with my best friend. That night I was feeling rather vulnerable because my grandfather had just passed away, so I drank a little too much. I also smoked a few joints, which added to my level of intoxication.
Soon enough I was so drunk that my friend asked me if we could leave the party and go to my house, (where no one was home), so he could "take care of me" and so we could "sleep it off". I agreed because I was feeling rather weird around all the guys at the party.
I remember being drunk and kind of just laying on a couch in the party house when this guy said, "you're lucky I’m a nice guy. I could take advantage of you right now because you're so drunk." I don't know why being so drunk I remember those words but they really stood out to me. Soon enough, we somehow got a ride to my house and I remember struggling to get my key in the door while my "friend" was holding me up. I must have been passed out because the next thing I remember is waking up in my bed with him on top of me.
After asking him to stop I must have passed out again because I remember waking up with something wet on my stomach. I thought to myself 'At least he didn't cum in me.' I remember crying and yelling at him to get me something to clean it up with. I don't know how long the rape lasted but the hours, days, and weeks after, I felt the lowest I've ever felt in my life. Sometimes I regret not going to the police. He has a girlfriend and a child who both have no idea what he did to me that night. I still struggle with finding hope and a reason to go on some days but I will never quit because that means he won.
For a while I wondered what the lesson to be learned from this situation was but I’ve learned now that sometimes there's no lesson. Horrible things sometimes just happen for absolutely no reason and it's really hard to come to terms with.
This is my story and I am not ashamed of the strong person I am today because of it.