When I met my abuser I thought he was everything I had ever dreamed of. He was charming, funny, respectful, protective of me, and got jealous. I thought that jealous was a sign of love- being only 20 years old I didn't really know what love was, I only THOUGHT I knew what love was.
I saw early signs of possible abuse but I shrugged it off. He would take my phone away from me and go through it constantly. Always read my texts, always asked who a guy was commenting on my pictures or posts (most of the time it would just be guy friends I had known for years.) he grew jealous of my relationship with my best friends, my parents.
He thought it would be a good idea to move in with him so we could "both trust each other more since we would know what the other person was doing." I just thought he really liked me so I went along with it. BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE. He soon became violent. We were living with his parents and his dad was constantly breaking up fights in the middle of the night. He was always grabbing me, throwing my phone, slapping me as if I had done something wrong when in reality I hadn't done anything.
He would be very violent during sex as well. One time, he was choking me out while kissing me standing up. Trying to breath and talk, I kept telling him "stop it hurts, no don't do that, ouch!" But he didn't listen, he kept choking me out until I passed out. I fainted and hit my head on the wall. I woke up a few moments later crying because I was truly scared for my life. He apologized and promised it would never happen.
He made me think that his jealousy and abusive ways were just him showing me he loved me. But soon it became a lot worse. He was leaving marks on me a couple weeks after this, we had moved into our own apartment so there was nobody to break up the fights. I would scream at the top of my lungs for somebody to help me but the neighbors never did anything. They complained about screaming and said their daughter was scared, but still allowed it to go on.
He would get me really drunk tie me up and have sex with me on video and cum inside me, even though I repeatedly told him I didn't want to have a baby and I wasn't comfortable with him doing that. But he paid no mind to what I said. I ended up getting pregnant. He said he would change his ways if I kept the baby, so I believed him.
I felt happy for a little while. Then a fight happened, the last fight. I caught him cheating on me and talking to other girls so I left him. When I went back to collect my final belongings he wouldn't let me leave. He held me captive and threw me into walls, tried breaking my phone so I couldn't call for help, threw me to the ground, sat on my stomach and nearly broke my arm. He whispered to the baby that "Mommy is a mean nasty whore and he won't let anything bad happen to you." I begged and pleaded for him to just let me go.
Eventually he let me go. After this, I went to the hospital and called the cops. Since then he has had to do jail time and pay some fines. It's been a little bit over year since I've left him and I definitely still think about him. I think of him differently now though, I think of him in disgust. I know I deserve better than what he gave me and I know that what happened was never my fault. He is a sick twisted person and he will learn his lesson someday.
I continue to thrive and shine bright like the beautiful little lady I am. He taught me so many things about myself and now strong I was. He taught me how to not only be strong for myself, but for other people as well. I've learned not to trust as easy as I used to. My life is so much better without him, I can finally breath without the weight of the world on my chest anymore. No more putting make up on his bruises, no more making up lies as to why I can't go out. I'm so much happier and healthier now and I love my life!
Anonymous