It took me a long time to realize this and find the motivation to end it. When I broke up with him I thought we were fine and could be cordial so I went to his apartment to drop off his stuff and pick up mine. While I was there he violently assaulted me sexually
We were trying to walk back to his dorm, but he was so drunk and started to grab me multiple times. I told him to stop but he wouldn’t listen
we were the perfect empath/melancholy match but at 18 I simply called it romance. Looking back there was quite literally nothing we agreed on, except the sex. We were each other's first in different ways: he was my first sex partner, I believe I was his 1st (and hopefully only) victim. After a semester of nuanced disagreements and now clear grooming we decided to be just friends.
I wouldn’t agree, I said no but finally after being annoyed for over an hour I gave in and let him record it on his laptop. One of the worst mistakes of my life... he held it against me for everything (if I didn’t send nudes, talk dirty, come over to his house and really just anything)
The night was fun, we had a drink, laughed, played some good music until his friend left, and mine wanted to go home. Seeing as I trusted this person, felt no need to be uncomfortable and unsafe, I decided to stay
I panicked and said stop and he started to ask what’s wrong and I asked why what is he doing I was so afraid.. he said I wanted him too.. but I was asleep.. i believed it was my fault so I was silenced,
as I was on my way home he bombarded me with texts about how I should leave my door unlocked unless I wanted it to get kicked in so I did. I was hoping he would come home and sleep it off but that’s not what happened. When he got in, I was angry at him for screaming at me at the bar and the situation escalated. He started chasing me around my apartment, kicking my body with his shoes on until I calasped on the floor
Now - this is the first time I froze. I think my body knew I was in danger but I couldn't find the words to get myself out of there. This is also the first time he acknowledges my discomfort. He offered me a drink, and I decline.
but things changed when he started drinking every day. The person he became, wasn't the person I fell in love with. The man I fell in love with, call him F, was kind, and sweet, and caring. but whoever he became was manipulating, sociopathetic and violent.
He would get mad if i liked any other males picture, i wasn't allowed to hangout with males either. No problem i thought, he is just jealous of males giving me attention. AJ would show up unexpected to catch me doing something
I didn’t notice the abuse right away, it started out as mental. He would call me a slut, a bitch, a dumb fat whore, he would always tell me that I needed to lose weight so I could look a certain way for him.. the sad part is, I actually started to believe him
We had nice things, a beautiful house and a sports car, we had pets, life was everything I wanted it to be. But the more comfortable he got, the more I realized what this new-found happiness was costing me. He was 28, 10 years my elder and he knew how to make me feel so small. From the things he would say and questioning everything that I did, I didn't realize that he was abusing me until it was too late.
I met him another 3 or four times before he took advantage of me but would convince me its what i wanted, i got home that evening, disgusted, confused, and a little scared.
The first couple of months were amazing, and then it started off with little things, like where I went and who I was with. He’d message all my friends with abuse so I only had him to rely on. He’d check all my social media account constantly,
I’ve always said to myself that IF i got in that situation I would defend myself but that was so untrue. I froze like a deer in headlights, I was betrayed, hurt and scared. I led there for 15 mins frozen in fear with tears streaming down my face
They used the classic excuses like me imagining it, and is being drunk and imagining it. After weeks his parents pressured him so much and swore I was out to ruin the family they said if he didn’t leave he was kicked out and at the time he couldn’t afford to move out
I thought I could just forget it happened and then he came around again.. it was like he was taunting me. Every time I would see his truck I would have a panic attack, I would see him and feel sick to my stomach
Have you had people support your husband and his claims and letting him call you names and minimizing his cheating and abuse and actions, not to just you, but to others, and laughing at his scary opinions about women, and choosing not to believe you or his other girlfriends?
He was handsome, kind, and affectionate. He wore a disguise like a tailored suit. He invested time and energy into manipulating me and I believed him because I really wanted it to be true. I was young and naive. I made excuses
8 months pregnant during Christmas Eve, he drank to much so I drove us home. We argued over something petty, and when he threatened to hit me if I didn’t stop talking, I started to cry and when I couldn’t stop dry heaving, he choked me and threw my head into my car window while the car was still moving.
